Pressure and Patience

There is a weird kind of urgency to January 1st, a sort of, "do it or break a promise you made to yourself," expectation that can be both exciting and scary. The combination of novelty, and pressure makes it easy to keep to our resolutions, but that energy isn't terribly sustainable. True there is nothing quite like the pleasure of playing with hope, but once the new aspiration glow wears off, you're left standing in the grey depths of Winter, craving the comfort of the familiar.

Myself, I've done well on some of my resolutions. The gym is closed for the day, which conveniently lets me off the hook exercise wise, and as far as patience goes, well, today was not such good day. To be blunt, I was fed up before me head left the pillow.

So here's today's confession: I find living with other people to be difficult. It doesn't matter who they are, my husband, his parents, or anyone. Whenever real life butts up against my lists, plans, and schedule, I become aggravated. This is doubly true if things are messy, when tasks take longer than expected, or when scheduled overlapping events don't line up elegantly. Of course, this is an everyday experience when one does not live in a cave on a mountain top. (Sigh, someday!)  Life isn't what happens while you're making other plans, life is the thing that obliterates your plans, while laughing hysterically, and tossing your calendar into the bog of eternal flames!

OK that may sound a tad over dramatic. What I can say without a hint of hyperbole is this: it is rare that my plan for the day, ends up being what actually happens that day. And yet, unless I'm very ill, or exhausted, I cannot imagine getting out of bed in the morning without at least some semblance of a plan. Accepting the chaos that just IS contemporary life, without trying unnecessarily hard to control it, is remarkably difficult for me. I accept that the world I live in is chaotic and unpredictable, but life requires structure: meals must be eaten, jobs completed on time, money earned, bills paid etc. Caring for ourselves, and others, simply takes time and must be done in a timely way.

When I was much younger, I liked to imagine myself this free spirit, able to bend and flex with the wind. And maybe, before I had the responsibilities of being and adult that was true. BUT; I've come to realize that I like the freedom of play and creativity, but I can only really enjoy it, if I know all my ducks are lined up in perfectly parallel rows.

This rather circuitous path leads me back to resolutions and patience. Change takes time. During these first weeks of January - particularly these first few days -  it's important that we're all kind and patient with ourselves. Making time to, for example, increase our physical activity, can be deceptively convenient when our focus is so keen. It is normal to slip back into old habits, in fact it's part of the process of change, but it is also important to get back up and remember why we wanted to make the change in the first place. A set back cannot obliterate our intentions.

To sustain our interest in, and adherence to, new routines we must have a clear and concrete idea of what it is we really want. Do we really want to be one size smaller, or look better in a bikini, or do we really want to feel better about ourselves, and live longer - more active - healthier lives?

For example: no one around me is particularly affected by me loosing my patience and becoming stress out. OK yeah, maybe they are because as human beings we have a tendency to share our stress and displeasure with others, even unintentionally. However, compared to the damage done by cortisol and other stress hormones to my metabolism, muscle, joint, organ, and metal health, they aren't remotely affected by it. The only one that gets hurt when I'm upset and stress out is me.

So, my first bit of advice for 2015: whatever your resolutions for the New Year is to take the time to think about your reasons for change, and make those reasons as personal to you as they possibly can be. There aren't any wrong answers here, as long as it means something to you.

Good luck.