Healthy Oatmeal Muffins

These muffins are more of a meal replacement than a sweet treat, although they are that too. What they are is chalk full of great stuff. All of the cholesterol balancing beta-glucan, and more soluble and insoluble fiber that any supplement can provide. They contain all the vitamins and anti-oxidants found in fruit juice, puree, and dried fruit, plus avenanthramdes - the antioxidant exclusively found in oats. Most importantly, once made and frozen they are extremely convenient to grab on your way out the door in the morning.

The recipe originally called for vegetable oil, but with the recent discoveries about the health benefits of coconut oil I've started to use melted coconut oil with out any noticeable difference in the end results. The fruit juice, puree, and dried fruits you choose to use in this recipe is only limited by your imagination. I have used mashed banana, pumpkin and sweet potato purees, but most commonly use organic unsweetened applesauce right off the grocery store shelf. If you've made your own pear or apple sauce by all means use that.

Oats themselves do not contain the necessary components to form gluten, however, since they are subject to contamination from shared milling and packaging equipment. If you suffer from a gluten allergy, Celiacs disease, or other gluten intolerance, be sure to select ingredients from sources that you know are contaminant free. These may be labeled "gluten free" but FDA standards allow for up to 20ppm of gluten contamination, and labeling is voluntary. So, for severe sufferers always check with the vender.

Recipe following the break:


Fruit and Oatmeal Muffin Recipe
Serving Size: 2 small, or 1 large

Ingredients:
270g old fashion oatmeal [~2 1/2 cups]
90g oat bran [~3/4 cup]
3g baking soda [~1/2 tsp]
9g baking powder [~ 1 tbsp]
5g cinnamon [~ 1 1/2 tsp]
2g nutmeg [~ 1/2 tsp]
1g allspice [~ 1/2 tsp]
130g fruit purée - applesauce, pumpkin, sweet potato, pear, mashed banana [~ 1cup]
165g dried fruit - raisins or other variety chopped if needed [~ 1 cup]
75g dark brown sugar - maple syrup or honey [~1/3 cup]
250g apple cider -orange, pear, cranberry, pomegranate [~ 1 cup]
70g egg white - or equivalent egg substitute [~ 2 extra large]
12g vegetable oil - expeller pressed canola or other flavorless oil [~ 1 tbsp]

1. Preheat oven to 400 F. Line 12 regular wells - or 6 large - with paper cupcake liners, or grease with oil or your favorite cooking spray.* Set aside.

2. Using a food processor or blender, grind oatmeal and oat bran into a course flour. Approximately 3 - 4 minutes. If you have a very small appliance, work in batches. Tranfer the oat flour to a large bowl.

3. Add baking soda, baking powder, and spices to the dry mixture, stir to combine and set aside.

4. Combine egg whites and brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, and beat until sugar has evenly absorbed the egg whites. Add fruit purée and beat on medium high speed until sugar has completely dissolved. If unsure rube a small amount of the emulsion between your fingers, if you feel any grittiness not associated with the fruit keep mixing.**

5. Add oil to the wet ingredients.

6. On low speed, add dry ingredients in two installments, alternating with fruit juice. Do not over mix!

7. Fold in dried fruit, and portion in to prepared muffin pans.

8. Bake 15 - 20 minutes [small] or 20 - 25 minutes. [large] A toothpick inserted into the center should come out clean.

9. Cool in pan for 10 minutes and remove to cooling rack.

10. When still warm to the touch, pack into appropriate sized zip top bags, or wrap individually in plastic wrap and freeze immediately.

* I am not a huge fan of aerosol cooking spray, or other "cake release" products, and usually opt to use canola or vegetable oil from a misting "hand pump" dispenser, such as a Misto. Or, more often I say hang the added few calories and grease the pan with butter. High quality vegetable shortening works, but inexpensive brands containing a larger proportion of cotton seed oils which tend to stick and can add an unpleasant taste to baked goods.

** This can be mixed by hand. Whisk wet ingredients together in the same order until the mixture is frothy, and the sugar is devolved. Stir in dried ingredients and fold in dried fruit.

If serving a group, serve while still warm. Baked and frozen muffins with keep for up to one month, and can be heated in the microwave 45 - 90 seconds. This batter can be made the night before, and stored in the refrigerator. Allow 30 minutes to return to room temperature and then portion and bake as above. The unbanked dough can be frozen, and keeps for up to three months. Allow dough to thaw at room temperature for 1 - 1 1/2 hours before baking as described above.

Walking the Walk

Food, good food, is my passion and, bread and pastry, my particular fetish. I love bread. I would eat it at every meal if I could. And, I'm tired of apologizing for it!

In these carb abolitionist, gluten free, Dr. Atkins and Paleo crazed days, that kind of confession doesn't seem too far off the mark.

So there it is. I love great bread, and I just so happen to be able to make a great loaf of bread in the privacy of my own home. With that confession put aside, I eat far too much bread, and most of it is definitively NOT great. There are multiple factors that contribute to this, including the fact that I do not live alone and cannot dictate the type and quality of every food item that comes into my home. Add to this, the fact that making bread at home, while enjoyable, does require large blocks of time, and quality bread bought from a baker is expensive. Factor in that fact that I cannot occupy the kitchen all day everyday. Add a little human laziness (mostly mine) and the result is that the chemical inoculated plastic stuff from the grocery store is still a part of my regular diet.

I'm not very happy or proud of this fact.

Issues of quality and provenance aside, I still eat too much of the stuff, and I've been trying for a long time to alter my habits. I must say, emphatically, that unless you are a Celiacs sufferer, are allergic to wheat, or suffer from any one of the gluten intolerance symptoms, there is nothing wrong with bread, wheat, or unbleached flour. How many qualifiers can I put on that?

Obviously I am not a prohibitionist when it comes to the daily loaf, but as an omnivorous animal, I should be eating from the greatest variety of plants, fish, and animals available to me that I can reasonably afford - financially or calorically. Allowing one foodstuff, one grain in fact, to take up such a huge part of my diet just seems like a bad idea no matter what that foodstuff happens to be. Still, bread and pastry (bread in a cuter outfit) continue to be areas in which I have a great deal of difficulty "walking the walk," when it come to my own nutritional wellbeing.

So, I've decided to do something about this other than moan that I shouldn't be eating so much bread, as I shovel more bread into my mouth. To do this, I've set up some rules for myself that have worked with other nutritional hurdles in the past. Altered to your needs, they might just work for you.

Rule 1: Any bread I eat must be of the "great" homemade, or bakery kind. No preservatives, conditioners, etc. I've actually done very well with applying this rule to baked goods an pastries, and I have no reason to believe it will not work here.

Rule 2: Don't eat bread just because it's easy or convenient. I do this far too often when I'm feeling a little hungry before bed or even as I'm preparing a meal. Sometimes bread is just necessary component to a meal.  A sandwich is probably the most convenient lunch, but a sandwich can no longer be the default choice when a salad, best yet one containing some other grain, is more sustaining and increases the amount of other foodstuffs I can eat within that meal.

With these rules come the following strategies:

As I mentioned, buying good quality bread from a bakery can very quickly get economically prohibitive, so obviously, strategy number one is get into the kitchen, and make some bread. But isn't that letting the fox into the hen house? The second component of this strategy is to slice and freeze whatever bread isn't eaten the day it is made so that I am forced to thaw whatever I need, when it is needed, and no more.

Since I cannot clear my environment of the so-so not so good stuff this will require some will power on my part but, these rules and stratagem are no good to me, of course, if I don't also savor and enjoy what bread and pastries I do eat, which only feeds into the, "only eat the good stuff," rule.

The second strategy, also involved the kitchen: prepare some foods that are just as convenient to eat as a couple slices of bread. Have them ready to eat in the refrigerator, and then: eat them!

Someone once said that we do not change our diet without essentially, first, changing our tastes. This sounds extreme to me, but there is a nugget of truth there. There is no use depriving oneself of something if you do not simultaneously cultivate an appetite for something else. In other words, having a substitute available is an essential tool to changing any bad habit. You cannot expect yourself to tackle the problem with willpower alone.

Pensive Bear - Creativity

I've been doing a lot of self analysis lately, and was directed by a close friend to examine, "what makes me happy; what turns me on; and gets me out of bed in the morning; what could I do over and over again, for too many hours a day, and still want to get up the next morning, and do it all over again?"

The most clear answer I can give to that question is, I am turned on (made happy) by the act of creating. Whether it's cut flowers in a unique floral arrangement, raw ingredients in a recipe, or fabric in a shirt, what gets me excited, what gives me that, "wow, life is good," feeling is the act of transforming those raw materials into something that, without the use of your hands, your imagination, instincts, knowledge, and practice, did not previously exist. In this same way, words are the raw ingredients of poetry and prose; and soap is a transformation from lye, water, essential oils, and a mixture of fats into a useful object that has it's own qualities of color, lather, and scent, that are - no matter how meticulous and consistent the process - unique to it's maker.

The trouble is that all these activities, while deeply rewarding, are also solitary pursuits. I am perfectly OK with that...most of the time. However; as someone who tends to exist too much inside my own head, and who works best on his own, I find it very hard to exist outside of that private creative world. Having a rich inner world is one thing, but feeling isolated and misunderstood because you don't posses the interpersonal skills to share that world with those closest to you, is another thing altogether.

Am I speaking in code? If you're an introvert, like me, chances are I am not.

Ultimately, I wonder if I will ever be able to accept feeling isolated and alone - from time to time - as nothing more than the price of admission to that rich inner world. I also wonder if turning inward to that world is, in the long run, good for my mental health, and the emotional wellbeing of those who are closest to me. It is clear, after twenty three years, that my husband has come to accept me as I am, just as my immediate family has over my lifetime. But, I sometimes wonder if I ever will accept myself as I am, or, if like some kind of perpetually unfinished project, I'll just keep trying to redesign myself into something I can't quite articulate, but that I can see when I close my eyes.

Achoo!

I do not suffer colds gladly. (Who does?)

I don't mean that I moan and groan, whimper or whine about my symptoms, but I detest the inconvenience. Being sick and having to skip the gym, or my walk, because it's not a great idea to tax my body when I am already ill. Or, when I don't feel like eating or cooking, and only the crappiest of salty or sweet treats sounds remotely appetizing. All of the external minutia that surrounds being under the weather, those things I will complain about until my loved ones want to smother me with a pillow.

All of this is to say, I went to bed feeling perfectly well, and woke up with a chest cold. A small part of me wants to blame a thirty degree shift in the temperature, and hope that I'll just as suddenly feel better tomorrow, but that would be a form of denial. This is a cold; complete with bone deep soreness, scratchy dry throat, post nasal drip, tightness in my chest, and coughing.

So, no gym tonight. Hot shower, Vic's, grab the kitties, and early to bed.

Food or Feed

We've all heard the saying, instead of asking why is eating well is so expensive, we should be asking why is eating poorly is so cheap, but I've got another one, " is it food, or is it feed?"

So, here's the goal of most processed food manufacturers: produce as much caloric value, that is safe to consume (pathogen free) and meets the basic macronutrient needs of most humans for the cheapest price to the consumer at greatest amount of profit possible.

I am not against companies making a profit, nor am I for individuals and families spending more money on staple grocery items than is necessary. Too many of us don't know where their next meal is coming from and the food system that is in place does help some families put food, or at least calories, on the table where as healthier choices are not available, let alone affordable. In other words, inexpensive processed food does keeps families on the margin from slipping into food insecurity. But most of us, can afford to do better for ourselves that we are, and it wasn't so long ago that I didn't see a problem with eating the cheapest most convenient food possible.

My food and nutrition journey started with a different species. A few years ago there was a large recall of cat food because of tainted ingredients.  I was lucky enough not to loose any of my four-legged family members, but some of the tainted food did make it onto my pantry shelves and into my cats. I received a crash course in pet nutrition during that scare, even going so far as sitting on the floor of the food isle reading every single label trying to find pet food that was safe, and nutritious for my pets to eat. I realized very quickly how much of the information was cleverly disguising the truth, and how much I had perhaps naively trusted my pets health to a corporation. My pets feed was predominantly generated from waste products of meat production, and derivatives of three commodity crops, corn, soy, and wheat. Not the grains themselves, of course, but as thickeners, fillers, and emulsifiers. Within one brand the ingredient list read the same regardless of what flavor the feed claimed to be on the bag. The thing that brought me close to tears was the realization that no matter which brand or formula I chose there was a compromise to be made. I even considered making my pets food from raw ingredients to nutritious pate, and, I even made a couple attempts before realizing that wholesome food was of no use, if the cats refused to eat it.

The story gets even more frightening when I started to read the labels on the processed foods that featured as a large part of my diet at the time, and I found exactly the same derivatives of the same three crops. Good news, I wasn't feeding my pets anything I wasn't prepared to eat myself, but bad news, neither of us should have been it in the first place!

Moving on to the second revelation of the pet food scare, a wide variety of the foods on the market were being manufactured in just one facility. Do I need to tell you that the same holds true for many of the processed foods on the grocery store shelves? I am not saying that each brand doesn't have it's own, highly specific formulas, and proprietary ingredients, but what we're not told is this: manufacturing equipment is very expensive to build and maintain. When it comes to economies of scale it only makes sense to share highly specialized equipment than for every brand of (picking something at random here) frozen meat pie on the market, than for each brand to own and maintain it's own equipment and facilities. These are, or have become, economic realities of the world we live in. The unfortunately down side of this, is that even the maker of your frozen meal or dehydrated noodle packet may be at least one or two, or several, steps removed from the process of actually making the food.

Before I get too far afield here, I will try to provide the pathway of logic that led me to the question is it food or is it feed. With real unadulterated healthy food becoming more and more the privilege of the more affluent, and cheap processed food made from recombinations of the same commodity crops the necessary sustenance of the less fortunate. Are we not creating a dividing line between healthy food, and baseline feeding of the masses with substances that administer to only our most basic macro nutrient requirements, just as a cheap can of cat food reportedly does for our pets?

I am not suggesting anything as Marxist as a deliberate plot here. I think the individual parties are simply acting in what they perceive to be there own best interests, whether that is in the name of greater profit for their company - and therefor a better living for themselves - or if the acting forces actually believe they are providing a vital service in the form of more calories for everyone's dollar. I am prepared to say that the fact that many of those calories are empty and of questionable provenance is a consequence of not prioritizing human nutrition - food - over calories consumed - feed. They are - bottom line - the consequences of choosing profit over human beings.

This is by no means complete, I will return to many of the subjects I've touched on again and again because they are, in part, the motivation for the way I have chosen to live my life. 

Depression, Medication, and Meditation

A couple of day's ago I posted the following to my Facebook account, and was overwhelmed by the response:

I am struggling. I am NOT OK. I am only functioning because I do not know what else to do. So I put one foot in front of the other, make meals, do my chores, go to the gym, but it all feels like work. I can't fall asleep at night, and I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.

I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing everything I am not. I am tired of rehashing every mistake I've ever made, and every unpleasant thing that's happened to me in my life. I'm tired of feeling angry, or hurt, or numb, and I'm tired of pretending everything is OK. I'm tired of hoping that if I try harder, or if I'm just a little bit more patient, things will be OK again.

I just thought if I wrote it down, let people know the truth, I might just find the courage to let it go, move on, and stop waiting for things to change.

Meanwhile: toast with peanut butter and too much jam; a sleeping pill; collect the kitties; bed.

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This message might seem to contradict what I've been writing about fitness and food, but I still believe that any treatment of depression must involve good nutrition and exercise and I am continuing to pursue that, in fact, it is now absolutely paramount that I stay active and eat well. It is a priority and if other things suffer because of it, so be it. It has become time, however; when I must finally admit that some medication, at least in the short term, is needed before I compromise all the work I have already done.

I had a crappy workout on the day that I posted the above comment because I was unable to get out of my own head and focus on what I was doing. I have since then had one of the better arm workouts that I've had in months because I decided to just see what I could do by focusing on form and less about reps and weight. I actually lifted more, with better form. The lesson is, a good workout is all in your head: or, in my head.

OK so, that's not news. But what are some things I can do to help me - and you - focus before and during a workout? The answer keeps coming back to something I dread: meditation.

I suck at meditation.

I am still researching this, so I'll start with just one meditation exercise and see how it goes. This is more of an active meditation so I'm hopeful it will work for me.

To begin, sit in a neutral comfortable position. Close your eyes breath slowly and deeply from the abdomen. On the inhale flex - or tighten - only the muscle, or muscle group, you're planning to exercise during the workout. Eg. your chest and lateral, arms and shoulders, legs and lower back. Focus on relaxing these muscles on the exhale. Do this for five minutes before stretching those muscles and beginning your workout.

Tonight is a night off from the gym, so I'll post how well this is working in the comments below. If you have any meditative exercises that help you. Feel free to post them below.

Time Managements and Herding Cats

This was the first full week of the new year, and therefore the first full week on my revamped gym routine. You'll remember that one of my resolutions was to add two intense cardio session per week. Last night's cardio session (number two) was rough, and today...well, today I am feeling old. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Yes, I'm physically fatigued and I have some generalized soreness, but I also lack the ambition of youth. In other words: I am wise enough to take my scheduled night off, and rest.

Speaking of schedules; time is a sticky subject whenever you start talking about working out and eating well. As adults we find ourselves with escalating responsibilities and demands, and less, and less, time for ourselves. I get it. I am the stay at home caregiver for my husband and his parents, none of which are completely dependent on my care to survive. Other than a couple of regular limitations, I have an open schedule, and even I find it hard to get all the time I want to dedicate to preparing great food, and going to the gym. If I'm going to achieve all the things I must, and want, to achieve in a day, I find I have to really stingy with my time. At times, it can feel a little bit more like a regimen than a life. And at times, it is more like "literally" herding cats. Did I mention we now have three?

I don't pretend to have any answers here. I do know that if it's a priority - and it should be - adults will somehow make the time. I manage my time in blocks, which requires a level of discipline that I can only manage part of the time. I try to be realistic in what I can achieve in a day, as well as with how long it will actually take to complete each task. For example: I commonly plan between two and three hours for dinner. This block of time is representative of how long it really takes to  prepare, eat, and clean-up after the evening meal. There are opportunities within that block to be flexible, and to overlap other tasks, but blocking time helps me shape my expectations. It also helps me to say no to all of those distractions and interruptions that are always there to take up all your time, and ask for more. Even as I write that, there is a voice in my head laughing hysterically. There are plenty of days that my schedule ends up being little more than a laughable delusion, but many more - I hope - that this planning, and time blocking, actually works.

Some navigate the time requirements of working out and eating well by adhering to a rigorous routine: getting up at the same time every day, eating a regular but small repertoire of meals, working out at the same time, following the same circuit etc. I think it's more important to the process that each individual have a system of time management than to dictate what that system should be. We must all be prepared to change our time management system if it fails to help us accomplish our goals.