I've been having some difficulty sticking to my eating plan. It isn't so much that I don't eat the healthy foods I've prepared, it's that, in my current circumstance, there is tremendous temptation to cheat. My most vulnerable cheat times are when I'm standing in the kitchen preparing a meal. There, surrounded by bread, bagels, crackers, chips, and other immediately gratifying foods, I catch myself, again and again, reaching for something to snack on. With some analysis of the situation I realized that the temptation to cheat occurs When I am already tired, and hungry. No mystery there, but that answer alone is misleadingly simple. Even my initial choice of words - though perhaps a little over dramatic - is telling. The foods I mentioned are simply in full view and close by, yet my experience is that I am surrounded by temptation. I have, without thought, gotten out two slices of bread from the wrapper and placed them on a paper towel before verbally reminding myself that I wasn't going to do that. I have then put those slices of bread back in the their wrapper, and caught myself reaching for them again in a few minutes time. Sometimes, like some kind of pavlovian idiot, I will return to this behavior until I finally either win the battle of wills, dinner is ready and I walk away. Or, equally likely, loose and eat them anyway.
I live with three other adults who buy their own food, and some of mine for that matter. I cannot relentlessly control every morsel of food that comes through the front door. When I experience temptations outside of my home, it is easy to recognize that I'm being deliberately enticed by a marketer or retailer, and I can look at a food and say, "no I will not be tempted by you! It would be wrong to say that buying convenience foods, and treats, and then leaving them in full view is a deliberate attempt to sabotage my efforts. That kind of thinking sets up an unhealthy and adversarial dynamic in my personal relationships, which can only end up in me being even more frustrated, worn-down, or angry, and therefore more vulnerable to temptation. Even if some kind of subconscious sabotage is occurring, it is subconscious. How responsible can I hold people for something they don't know they're doing? What I need most is to focus my energies on not being tempted, because every time I take the bait, I reinforce the idea that I can be swayed. Most importantly, in my own mind.
Honestly, I neither expect them to stop buying the foods they want to eat, nor would I demand that anyone alter where they keep that food, just because I will have to look at it. For one thing, it would be unfair, and for another, it just isn't going to happen! That said, I need a strategy to keep myself from cheating on...myself. Will power alone is not going to cut it. I never has. As I said previously, when I'm tired and already hungry, I am very vulnerable to making bad food choices. And, I'm not alone. There is significant behavior science to indicate that we are most tempted by high fat, high sugar, and convenience foods when we are fatigued.
I thought seriously about covering the food that I don't want see, but that won't stop it from calling to me. While, out of sight, out of mind might work once or twice eventually I will give in. So, I've chosen to simply accept that I'm going to want to nosh while I'm cooking dinner, especially on Tuesdays, and Thursdays, when I'm preparing food at 11:00 at night. To avoid being temped, I will have some prepared carrots of celery on hand. It won't relieve the temptation entirely, but it will provide some distraction until I reach a stage that I am no longer tempted. If such a stage exists...
