...not the conduit.

I am the mule, not the conduit. I am the mule, not the conduit. I am the mule, not the conduit.

It's been easy to avoid writing this morning. Installing a new cable box and rearranging the wiring behind two televisions has kept me occupied, but now I find myself with open time, and no idea what to write.

So, televisions settled, dishes washed, tea had, now what?

The chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies I baked, and froze last week are calling to me from the freezer, and I am successfully - at least for now - able to resist their siren song. There is nothing inherently wrong with home made baked goods, they are in my opinion the only kind to eat, but, I have been over-indulging lately, and I am still trying to loose some numbers by the end of the month. We'll see.

Tonight starts a seven day marathon at the gym. Maybe marathon isn't the best term for it, given that a Marathon is a specific type of activity, but you get the picture. How did that word get associated with watching endless hours of television? I probably don't want to think too much about that...However you want to say it, I WILL be working out every day of this Spring Break, even if there isn't much Spring to be had. I am actually excited about this, which is in its own way bizarre, or at least a little weird.

By the way, there is something deeply satisfying that the word "weird" doesn't follow the "i before e" rule. Can you tell I'm stalling?

Yesterday, I began writing about my upcoming birthday, and the fact that I was struggling to get my second career off the ground. A paragraph or two in, the whole thing descended down a rabbit whole that took most of the afternoon and evening to crawl out of. So, I don't think I'll be going there again anytime soon.

Who am I kidding, I live there. I just don't want my uncertainty and self-doubt made public (more public?) right now.


Wait. Am I a mule or a bear? Oh who knows...

Show up, do your job.

Elizabeth Gilbert suggested in her TED talk that we (artists) should think about our creativity, our "genius," as an external disembodied entity that exists outside of ourselves. I am not a fan of the entire concept of a muse, I am more of a mule, but she also suggested that regardless of whether or not we are inspired, we need to show up, and do our job. I have been struggling lately, and this is an attempt to show up, and do my job.

This February has been very hard. As I've said before, I am normally a proponent of getting outside, and being active, regardless of the weather, but this has been a record breaking cold month with multiple snow storms. It has literally been inadvisable to be outside for any length of time, and I do not have the appropriate outerwear (nor the money to purchase new outerwear) to go outside, and exercise when it's -20F. So, I've been stuck indoors, and that has been a setback.

I have been "depression eating" for the past 7 to 10 days, and I don't feel like getting out of bed. I don't want to laze around the house, I want to hibernate, and, I've been fighting nasal congestion since Christmas which is making my pillow all the more tempting. I have been able to get to the gym three times per week, but not the four to five I'd prefer, and as for my low-intensity walks outdoors, well, it's been so nasty that getting from the house to the car requires courage and determination.

Most importantly to moving ahead, I have not been writing. There are reasons for this that go beyond procrastination, and those reasons aren't going to change for at least another year. To be plain, when you're writing about food, nutrition, and fitness, there is a kind of pressure to be endlessly enthusiastic about the subject. I am enthusiastic, but there are times when I neither feel like cooking, nor eating well, nor getting out of my chair to go to the gym. The reality is that I need to do it anyway, and again, show up, and do my job.

Next week is March break for hubby, and we're too broke to make any plans, so I'm hoping to hit the gym every day. I am also planning to get ahead with baking bread, and a couple other "freezer-filling," for those times I just can't, or don't want to make a healthy meal. We are also going to be making a batch, or two, of hot process soap.

More on the baking and soap making to come...

Lead me not into temptation, I know a shortcut.

I've been having some difficulty sticking to my eating plan. It isn't so much that I don't eat the healthy foods I've prepared, it's that, in my current circumstance, there is tremendous temptation to cheat. My most vulnerable cheat times are when I'm standing in the kitchen preparing a meal. There, surrounded by bread, bagels, crackers, chips, and other immediately gratifying foods, I catch myself, again and again, reaching for something to snack on. With some analysis of the situation I realized that the temptation to cheat occurs When I am already tired, and hungry. No mystery there, but that answer alone is misleadingly simple. Even my initial choice of words - though perhaps a little over dramatic - is telling. The foods I mentioned are simply in full view and close by, yet my experience is that I am surrounded by temptation. I have, without thought, gotten out two slices of bread from the wrapper and placed them on a paper towel before verbally reminding myself that I wasn't going to do that. I have then put those slices of bread back in the their wrapper, and caught myself reaching for them again in a few minutes time. Sometimes, like some kind of pavlovian idiot, I will return to this behavior until I finally either win the battle of wills, dinner is ready and I walk away. Or, equally likely, loose and eat them anyway.

I live with three other adults who buy their own food, and some of mine for that matter. I cannot relentlessly control every morsel of food that comes through the front door. When I experience temptations outside of my home, it is easy to recognize that I'm being deliberately enticed by a marketer or retailer, and I can look at a food and say, "no I will not be tempted by you! It would be wrong to say that buying convenience foods, and treats, and then leaving them in full view is a deliberate attempt to sabotage my efforts. That kind of thinking sets up an unhealthy and adversarial dynamic in my personal relationships, which can only end up in me being even more frustrated, worn-down, or angry, and therefore more vulnerable to temptation. Even if some kind of subconscious sabotage is occurring, it is subconscious. How responsible can I hold people for something they don't know they're doing? What I need most is to focus my energies on not being tempted, because every time I take the bait, I reinforce the idea that I can be swayed. Most importantly, in my own mind.

Honestly, I neither expect them to stop buying the foods they want to eat, nor would I demand that anyone alter where they keep that food, just because I will have to look at it. For one thing, it would be unfair, and for another, it just isn't going to happen! That said, I need a strategy to keep myself from cheating on...myself. Will power alone is not going to cut it. I never has. As I said previously, when I'm tired and already hungry, I am very vulnerable to making bad food choices. And, I'm not alone. There is significant behavior science to indicate that we are most tempted by high fat, high sugar, and convenience foods when we are fatigued. 

I thought seriously about covering the food that I don't want see, but that won't stop it from calling to me. While, out of sight, out of mind might work once or twice eventually I will give in. So, I've chosen to simply accept that I'm going to want to nosh while I'm cooking dinner, especially on Tuesdays, and Thursdays, when I'm preparing food at 11:00 at night. To avoid being temped, I will have some prepared carrots of celery on hand. It won't relieve the temptation entirely, but it will provide some distraction until I reach a stage that I am no longer tempted. If such a stage exists... 

Get Up, Stand Up!

Whenever possible, I stand. This includes my writing time, and my quiet time at the cafe. When I first started this habit, I felt very self-conscious, but now, it's just fun to see the reactions even a small break with convention receives. I've been asked if I'm waiting for someone, if I'm leaving soon so they can have my table, and if I have a medical condition that makes sitting down painful, or difficult. Some people just can't cope with anything different. It's not that I'm anti-relaxation, it's just that I want to burn the maximum amount of calories each day so that I can eat the maximum amount of good food. There are multiple other benefits of standing over sitting, but as I've said before, I'm greedy, and proud of it!

I don't subscribe to any extreme doctrine, rest is as important activity. One article by a chiropractor stated that the human body wasn't designed for sitting, and another recommended sitting for less that two hours cumulatively per day if you want to live a nice long healthy life. Seriously, this is a thing. Like with science behind it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uiKg6JfS658
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4K_ENbRgywY

Whether you believe the recent research, or not, it is hard to deny that too much of contemporary life is sedentary, and there is significant evidence to suggest that sitting, or at least sitting too much, has a correlated negative effect on our health. I don't need all of the evidence to be reviewed to act on this.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I tend towards mild ADHD behavior. Sometimes I just need to move to think, and I've always been rather fidgety and twitchy. I have difficulty sitting through a whole 22 minute television show, which is the real reason I rarely watch television. My husband has gotten used to me shifting in my seat, and getting up to stand at the back of the theater on the occasions that we do go to see a movie together. I also tend to, literally, sit on the edge of my seat if I'm really focused on what we're seeing, and while I do not sign along when I'm seeing a musical - well, not out loud - I have been known to chair dance and wiggle when we're at a live show. Not to put too fine a point on it: I have friends who refuse to go to movies with me because I literally cannot sit still. Unless I am fully engrossed in a project I naturally don't sit for long periods of time, so standing to work, or even relax, isn't that much of a stretch for me, as it may be for others.

So, maybe you're not inclined to adopt a standing desk, or pace your way through American Idol. You can do something to be less sedentary. One recommendation to counteract the negative effects of sitting is to get up from your desk once every hour, and do 5 minutes of activity. I'm not sure a trip to the refrigerator counts as cardio, but longer commercial breaks are perfect for stretching, and other body weight only exercises. As with all exercise, anything you do is better than being sedentary. So, hell yes, that trip to the bathroom counts!

Snowpocolyps '15 - The Clean-Up

My fellow cave dwellers. Having spend six hours over the span of two days clearing out from the worst snow storm since 1974, I am very sore, and exhausted, and a little exhilarated. I love snow, and shoveling out after a storm is a welcomed burst of productive activity, just when the walls were beginning to feel like they were closing in on me.

Shoveling the pavement is one thing, raking snow off the roof is another strenuous job that comes with heavy snowfall, and I can't say I am much of a fan of this chore. For those who do not know, there is a specially designed roof rake, which looks more like a plastic snow shovel on a very long pole, that enables you to stand on solid ground and pull the worst of the snow off of the roof, or at least the six feet closest to the eves. Imagine shoving snow, by pulling it off the driveway from twenty feet away, with the shovel held above your head, and you're just about on point. Doing this helps to prevent ice build up, which can ruin shingles and in extreme cases rip the eves trough off the side of your house. Equally important, it prevents snow drifts from building up and letting loose in great rafts that can come crashing down on people, pets, and belongings.

Bottom line, shoveling and raking, has kept me out of the kitchen and out of the gym for most of this week. I'm not happy about that, but my body is telling me that a workout would be superfluous, at least for today. Tomorrow; however, is another day and I have some catching up to do. Not to mention, the usual chores that have gotten neglected so that I could dedicate my free time (what's that?) to snow removal.

So, in addition to hitting the gym every day Friday thru Monday, I have to make granola, *oatmeal muffins, kale and quinoa salad, roasted tomato tebouleh, and a fresh batch of hummus on top of the three squares a day. It is going to be a busy weekend, and we are expecting more snow on Sunday. Historic snow storms aside, having your plans interrupted, canceled, or altered, by the weather is normal for February.

There are times when cave dwelling and hibernation are perfectly valid choices.

*The muffin recipe is posted here:http://haleandheartybear.blogspot.com/2015/01/healthy-oatmeal-muffins.html

You Are Being Manipulated

Most of us are aware that when we walk into any retail establishment, we are being manipulated. Whether it's the lighting, upbeat music, or appearance and layout of the space we are being stimulated to, not only buy, but buy more. I was aware of some of the tricks in the following article, but the lengths to which we are being steered to spend more money in the average grocery store, still caught me by surprise.

http://www.bonappetit.com/test-kitchen/how-to/article/supermarket-psychology


I wish I could claim to be completely immune to all of these tricks, but I am not. What I have developed over years of trying to, not only eat well but, eat well on a very small budget, is a set of rules to help me avoid the trickery. Calling it psychological warfare may not be hyperbole on the part of the author. This doesn't mean we need to develop a completely adversarial relationship with our local mega-mart, but it does mean that, as informed individuals we should be aware of the environment we are entering so that we can make better choices, that are based in reason, rather than impulse.

Some of these rules were learned at my parents' knee, passed on from their parents, and grandparents, and others I've read in various articles, and books, on health and nutrition. Others I've learned the hard way, by making the mistake I was being lead to make. I am aware that written as hard and fast rules, these sound deceptively simple, but every one of them requires at least some effort, and a certain amount of discipline. Given the psychological trickery you are going to experience when you step through the doors of your favorite grocery store, it is essential that you are sufficiently armored.

Rule number one: know what you already have.

We are all busy, and my compliance with this rule is a work in progress. Everyone, myself included, could benefit from looking through their cupboards, pantry, refrigerators, and freezers before heading out to the store. I am due - this weekend in fact - to inventory my own pantry, make a list of what I have that I need to use up, discard foods that have passed their expiration date, and make a list of staple items I am running low on.

In an ideal world, I should - and you should too - do this weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly - whenever it is you're planning to hit the isles of the grocery store to do you main shopping trip. The good news is, an ideal world isn't that far out of hand. Once you have a handle on your inventory, all you really have to do is scratch things off a list as you use them up. All of us, because we are fallible, should inventory our kitchens at least once a year.

Rule number two: make a meal plan, and a shopping list.

Standing in the isles of the grocery store is no fit time to decide what you're going to eat. As the article says, you are being bombarded with external stimuli, the sole purpose of which is to part you from your hard earned money. This is not an atmosphere in which anyone can make good choices. Making a meal plan is not only an opportunity to use up items in your pantry and refrigerator, but it is the only way to determine what it is you actually need. This is especially helpful when you are trying to make lifestyle changes, or are particularly busy. Yes it takes time, but that time is recovered two fold when it's time to prepare meals, and eat.

There is one more reason having a meal plan is essential. Not to put too fine a point on it, but, it is precisely the act of deciding what we'll eat at the end of a busy day that billions upon billions of dollars in advertising are meant to exploit. It's that moment of choice where we become vulnerable to bad food and budget choices. The narrative goes something like this, "stressed out, tired, got a picky eater at home, just don't feel like cooking today? Let us do it for you!"  It isn't the act of cooking that makes us stressed out, it's the act of deciding. Do this at home before you are being bombarded by all the stimuli. Give yourself the gift of peace of mind, and autonomy, so that you can spend your energy and money where it is needed: on yourself and those you care for.

And, stop referring to yourself as a consumer. Consumers don't have responsibilities, histories, families, or lives. You are a citizen, not a spending machine!

How I do it:

Digital devices be damned, I have found that the easiest way for me to make a meal plan is to sit down with a pad of paper, a mechanical pencil, and a cup of tea. The tea is optional...for you, not for me. I write out the days of the week, with sufficient space to write out a menu for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, as a sub-category under each heading. This way I can look at multiple day's meals at a glance, and I can erase, move, or change the plan as I go. I also make a note of any appointments, or obligations my family and I have during the week in the margins, so that I can accommodate those, and still stay on plan. This is also the time to look over your coupons and store flyers - most of them are available on-line - and make some choices.

100% compliance is not even remotely possible, unexpected events occur, that is just how life is. However; your meal plan is like a malleable road map to getting food on the table all week long.

....and a list.

Now that you've made a meal plan, make a list of the items you need to fulfill that plan. There are always going to be those items, one or two, that are best left until very close to the time you are going to prepare a meal, but for the most part, your list should prepare you to get everything you need for the week in one trip.

Your list is the essential tool you will use to help you avoid being manipulated once you're in the store. In fact, I take my list, and my meal plan with me: I never know when my hubby will request a favorite meal, or when I'll see something I simply cannot leave the store without. More on this later...

Rule number three: buy only what is on your list.

This can be HARD. Remember how much work, time, and money is put into getting you to buy more than you intended to buy? We are all fallible, sticking to your list may mean that you occasionally forget an item, or even two, but it will help you to avoid the multiple-buy, bulk-buy, and special offers you weren't planning on buying, or did not even know existed before you got to the store. Whenever possible, buy only what you need of the items on your shopping list.

I have to state, emphatically, that YES it sometimes does make sense to bulk buy items you KNOW you will use week in, and week out. Too often, though, we get tricked into thinking we'll suddenly be disciplined and use a large volume of a food-stuff just because we bought it in bulk.  Strictly speaking, there is also nothing wrong with buying items on spec. A great cheese, olives,   produce, or something at the butcher counter can sometimes literally call to you. The trick here is to then adapt your meal plan to accommodate that purchase. This is precisely why I take my meal plan with me.

However; do not be fooled into thinking you will suddenly prepare a meal using some new or exotic ingredient that you are unfamiliar with just because it was on sale. There are individuals who have a particular talent for wandering the isles of a grocery store, or farmer's market, picking up whatever stimulates their imagination, and somehow manage to transform that into meals throughout their week. I have met many professional chefs can not do this! Furthermore, no restaurant can run this way, and you certainly shouldn't expect your household to run this way either.

There are other exceptions, of course, but the hard and fast rule still applies: buy only what you need and you will avoid being stimulated into over buying, and wasting your hard earned money on food that is going to spoil in your refrigerator, or on your pantry shelves.

Rule number four: stick to your plan.

OK this seems like it should be a redundant rule, but, it is not. No matter how great your intentions, life has a way of messing with your plans. This is, after-all, why I write my meal plans in pencil. Of course there will be times when sticking to the plan will not be possible, but there are those moments when all that is needed is a little bit of discipline. It goes without saying that any foods, or meals that don't get made on this week's meal plan, should be forwarded to the top of next week's plan. If you can manage this cycle, not only will you get more out of your grocery dollar, but you will not fall victim to marketeers, and the mind games they play on all of us.

The Bear is Back

After being out sick for two weeks with a fairly nasty chest cold, I was finally well enough to hit the gym last night. I was already prepared to lower the resistance/weight in my usual workout, but even that was taxing enough to really feel it today. I also skipped the last two exercises - I'd already done all the major muscle groups and was starting to feel wobbly, but mostly I skipped them because I was running out energy and time: it just took longer to recover between sets than normal.

There is some debate in the information that I found online about whether you should, or shouldn't, work out when you have a cold. The consensus, and the advise I generally follow, is that working out is fine so long as the cold symptoms exist from the neck up, and do not include a fever. Most sites DID recommend a less intense workout, and "active resting" which in a nutshell means plenty of rest, low intensity activity, stretching, and even treating yourself to a massage, hot tub or sauna.  Whether working out will make your cold symptoms better or worse, or the duration of illness greater or smaller, I think is completely dependent on the individual. My hubby, the Microbiologist, will tell you "the virus takes as long as it takes to get out of your system."

Of course I whined, and fretted compulsively, about missing the gym the entire time, but I stuck it out, and I'm on the mend. Arms and shoulders tomorrow, and then back to my usual rotation on Friday.

Meanwhile I have gotten behind here: I still have to post the recipe for my families favorite home made granola, and a recipe for a new salad, well, new to me. The salad was billed as a "detox salad," but again, I'm not sure I buy the hype. What it IS, is crunchy, lemony, naturally sweet, and chock full of cruciferous veggies, raisins, dried cranberries, and sliced almonds. It was delicious the first day and still crunchy and satisfying on day four.